Friday, October 1, 2010

Day 24 - Friday - My Declutter Guru

The 3-D group is not just about losing weight.  It's about "Eating well, Living well, and Loving God."  I am trying to unclutter body fat by eating better and watching portions; unclutter my mind by throwing down thoughts that are not of God, but come from my accuser and temper, the Devil: and unclutter my home by getting rid of things that I have held on to for far too long.  It is the living well part - uncluttering my living space - that I will be talking about today.

The clutter in my home is as hard to reveal as is the pounds on the scale.  But this is about being real, facing our selves with the truth and not denial.

I have a very special person in my life with whom I feel safe to tell about my struggles with stuff!  He has the same problem that I have but for different reasons. He moved from a large place into a one bedroom apartment three years ago, and still has unpacked boxes everywhere because there is no where to put things.

 We have talked about decluttering before.  He was at my home in August for the first time in years and was pleasantly surprised at how nice it looked.  (I didn't let him in the office - that is where I stuffed everything I couldn't find a place for.)  But there were no boxes under the table or desk, no boxes lined against the walls, and no two-drawer filing cabinet in the living room pretending it was a TV stand or end table. It looked really nice.  And he said so with admiration. And then said, "Where are the things stacked against the wall that you talked about?  It looks fine in here to me."  I then said I had worked very hard to get things the way they were. ( And boy, had I worked!)

So tonight we are talking and I tell him that I am thinking about quilts that were given to me by deceased ancestors. The quilts have been used for years and had started breaking down, decaying, and so I quit using them and put them in the cedar chest. I didn't want to get rid of them, no one else would want them, and they weren't nice enough to use. In fact, using them would damage them even more. As we discussed why I hung on to them, it was because of who gave them to me or made them for me when I was just a girl.  He helped me to realize that if the quilts were too ragged for me to want to use them on my bed, then I shouldn't keep them. The folks who gave them to me would be glad I got so much use out of them, and would not expect me to keep them forever, especially when they were ragged. He said I can still hold the memory of their love and the quilts they made even though I let them go.

He mentioned again how nice my apartment was in August when he visited. I admitted to him that I had stuffed everything I could not find a place for into my office.  He then said I probably had dragged everything back out and cluttered up my home again.  I said, "No, I haven't dragged anything out and back into the living areas, but every time I go into my office it is so depressing and overwhelming. I hate going in there.  (That is where my computer is, folks, so here I sit in the "dump" writing this to you.)

We talked about all kinds of things that I have been unable to make a decision on letting go.  I don't know if I can convey to you what he conveyed to me, but he helped me to realize that these things had been useful in the past and were no longer useful. So, it was alright to get rid of them. He didn't want me spending energy trying to find someone that might benefit from the things I no longer used. He wanted me
put them in the trash can and then take them to the dumpster.

I argued that many of these things WERE useful. He said I was confusing functional with useful.  Yes, they may still function, but if I am not using them, they are not useful to me.  Let them go! 

He also said it is a waste of time and energy to try to figure out why I started saving stuff and got myself into this mess. That is another distraction that just wears me down. 

We talked for an hour and a half. He closed with a recap of what he had told me before. And then said that when I got off the phone the first thing I saw that I no longer enjoyed or used, to put it in the trash. That making decisions would strengthen my decision maker.  I love this guy!  LOL

I got off the phone and went to the bathroom. The first thing that caught my eye was a bottle of skin cleanser that was about ten years old. I had found it months ago with still some cleanser in the bottle and had put it upside down in my metal box that contains my daily skin care products.  My thinking months ago was to use that last ounce or two so I wouldn't be throwing away money.  Tonight I "saw" it, probably for the first time in a long time. It was no longer in my vision. I picked it up and thought about it.  If it is ten years old, then it probably has grown bacteria and isn't fit to use. If I haven't used it in all this time, well, you know the drill.  Throw it away!  I did! 

Then I went through the drawers in my bathroom cabinet and found toothpaste tubes that I thought I could squeeze and coax one more bit of toothpaste out of the tube.  After throwing away all kinds of little things that had expired or looked gunky, or I hadn't used in a long time, I then contemplated some of the things that are harder to part with in the office.

Tomorrow is a new day, and I plan to attack my throwing away with vigor. I want to be able to come into my office and it feel like a place I want to be, not a place that I would be embarrassed for anyone to see.  I want my whole home to be beautiful.

One thing my friend kept repeating to me . . . "It's time to move on.  It's a new season in your life. Get rid of the old to make room for the new."   I smile when I think about that.  Yes, I'm ready for the new season. I want to be ready for the new to come. 


Col 3:2  Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.
 


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